Sex has a strong influence on many aspects of well-being: it is one of our most basic physiological needs. Sex feeds our identity and is a core element of our social life. But millions of people spend at least some of their adulthood not having sex. This sexual avoidance can result in emotional distress, shame and low self-esteem — both for the individual who avoids sex and for the partner who is rejected. As a researcher of human behavior who is fascinated by how sex and gender interact, I have found that sexual avoidance influences multiple aspects of our well-being. I also have found that people avoid sex for many different reasons, some of which can be easily addressed. People who have more sex report higher self-esteem, life satisfaction and quality of life. In contrast, lower frequency of sex and avoiding sex are linked to psychological distress , anxiety, depression and relationship problems.

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In Part 1 , we looked at the components of sexual readiness. The following are common reasons why people choose to have sex. Some are specific to young people, while others may be found at all age levels. For one, there are many ways to experience physical pleasure that do not involve having sex. What is maturity? Having sex will not make you mature. In fact, one of the key components of maturity is responsible decision-making.
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Sex positivity is a great thing. While there are many reasons people choose to have sex pleasure, pleasing others, intimacy, stress relief, escape, or self-validation , there are plenty of other ways to meet these reasons without having sex. More importantly, being purely and wholly disinterested in sexual activity is a choice that needs to be respected. So, in a world that oversimplifies sex, it may be helpful to understand what never having sex really means and how to explain it to others. Asexuality is not considered a sexual dysfunction, though.
The decision of whether or not to have sex is up to you, and you alone. Having sex for the first time can be a huge emotional event. The best way to prepare for the decision to have sex is to become comfortable with communicating about your needs. Anyone who challenges your choices about whether or not to have sex is not giving you the respect that you deserve. No one ever has the right to pressure you into having sex. If you decide you are ready, make sure you and your partner are prepared. Be prepared to protect yourself against sexually transmitted infections STIs and unwanted pregnancy. While condoms used correctly and consistently can protect against both STIs and pregnancy, other forms of birth control such as the pill may protect against pregnancy but NOT STIs. Taking care of your sexual health is essential. They may be feeling the same way and are unsure how to approach you.